We Took Away Our Daughter’s iPad – what we learned

Does your child spend a lot time on their iPad? I bet they do, ours did too. We had one major rule though and that was, “don’t talk to anyone you don’t know in real life online.” Our daughter broke that rule and we took it away. What we didn’t expect were the changes we would observe over the next few weeks.

What did you just minimize?

Our daughter, like most kids her age, enjoyed playing games where her friends could interact with her online. She knew that she wasn’t supposed to talk to anyone that she didn’t know in real life. One day though her dad walked into her room and she quickly minimized something. Ummmm what did you just minimize? “Nothing”, she said. Of course her dad took the computer and found a benign conversation that our daughter admitted she didn’t know the person she was talking to. We reacted quickly and strongly because pedos don’t just start the conversation saying “hey little girl I have some bad intentions for you.”. So we needed to make our point. Computer and iPad were gone for an indefinite amount of time.

How long are we going to keep them?

Over the next few days my husband and I went back and forth about how long we were going to keep her devices. We didn’t really have a plan in place since this was kind of unexpected. After a couple days though we noticed that she hadn’t asked for it, at all, not once. So we determined that we wouldn’t do anything if she didn’t ask. Let’s just see how long we can go here.

She started playing with her little brother and sister again.

After a while we started to notice that our daughter was interacting with her younger siblings again. Especially her little sister. They started playing board games, going out on the trampoline, and other imaginative play. She still hadn’t asked for her iPad back so we were letting it go. We were noticing a lot fewer fights, a lot less yelling, and a happier daughter.

Her behavior improved.

After a couple weeks, we noticed that our mornings started to go more smoothly. She was now waking up before she needed to and getting ready without being told. I asked her if after we went to bed was she was going back on her computer before. She admitted she often did. Her mood was improving, she was more engaged with us and started asking her siblings to go outside WAY more often!

Three weeks later.

She still hasn’t asked for the iPad back and we haven’t offered it to her. Things have definitely improved around here and we are pleasantly surprised. Obviously we didn’t anticipate these changes, we hadn’t realized how much constantly being on her iPad was affecting her. Not only affecting her but the rest of us. It seems as though we are all a little happier without that iPad around.

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CBD – My Experience with Depression

Have you heard of CBD fluid? Unless you have been living under a rock then you probably have, but what is it, what is it for, and why should you try it? I can’t promise to have all the answers to those questions or others you might have. However, I will go through how I came to try CBD fluid and what I discovered when I did.

Depression runs in the family.

I have had issues with depression on an off throughout most of my adult life. My father suffered with a major depressive disorder, although his went unacknowledged and untreated except for with Twinkies. Postpartum, seasonal affective disorder, and why do people just suck depressions have hit me at various times in my life. I would usually self medicate with food until I took up running. Which I fell in love with the feeling of running every day.

I had been having some pretty unpleasant health issues for a little over a year. It started with one seemingly insignificant cold and then snowballed into a roaring avalanche of shit beyond my control. Without going into too much detail, these issues replaced my daily outdoor runs with prescription medications and sadness. I was depressed, gaining weight in a way that felt like it was normal to wake up and weigh more than yesterday. After a while I was able to get off the medications. My healthy and active lifestyle were waiting for my triumphant return. Yet I was still not myself and I couldn’t figure out how to get back to her again. I hated looking in the mirror, hated getting dressed. I just wanted to go back to bed.

I quit my full time job. I took a position that was significantly less stressful but the financial toll was another depressing hurdle to overcome.  Even though I reduced my stress level I still felt stuck. I would lay awake at night wondering what I should do? Did I even have the strength to do what needed to be done? I just couldn’t seem to get out of my own way. I hated myself for letting this happen.

Then a friend mentioned she had tried CBD fluid for her migraines and she swore it was a miracle worker.

I have always been a believer in plant based medicine. I have witnessed too many accounts of natural treatments often being not only more effective but with a million less side effects. So I was curious, could CBD help me with my depression? I clicked on the link she sent me. To be honest I was a little concerned about the price at first but figured it was worth a shot because I didn’t want any more prescription pills. So I put a bottle in my cart and hit checkout, $110 later I received the email confirmation that my order was submitted.

Here we go.

I was so excited when it arrived! I opened up the box and saw this tiny little bottle. Well my little miracle worker, show me what you’ve got. Just two drops under the tongue, hmmm, that doesn’t seem like much but ok. Oh My God is tastes like I am drinking hemp! WOW that was a strong flavor, I should have had water ready to drink! Washed it down and then thought to myself, “I don’t feel anything”. To be honest I am not sure what I expected to feel instantly. I guess I thought it would be like taking a hit off a bong. It wasn’t at all. I literally felt nothing. The rational side of me then realized that it would take time. Like every other medication I have ever needed, the results aren’t usually instant. So I kept doing it.

Four weeks later.

Suddenly it dawned on me that I was sleeping like a rock, every damn night. My dreams were returning. Side note: I am a strong Empath and my dreams have always been a guide for me, when depression hits I struggle with insomnia and they disappear. Now that I was getting better sleep I felt more rested during the day, more energetic and focused. I felt like running again. I want to purge my house all Marie Kondo style, I will update you on that project in another post. CBD fluid has given me my life back. I no longer feel depressed or like I am helpless in my situation. I feel like me again. I am so thankful for CBD. My friend was right, it is a miracle worker.

 

If you have questions about CBD fluid then feel free to hit the “Let’s Chat” button or send me an email!

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How to Get Your Baby to Sleep like a Baby

Congratulations on your new baby! Such a sweet little bundle of joy, it’s just heavenly isn’t it? At first any whimper will make you leap right out of bed in the middle of the night to attend to every need. In a few weeks though, you’re frigging tired. You need this little sweet pea to sleep on some kind of consistent basis so you can function. Let’s face it, coffee ain’t cutting it. The whole “sleep when the baby sleeps”, is crap. Especially if you have other kids, or a husband, or a job, etc. You feel like a zombie and need some sleep, like yesterday. Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

Side note: this is not to be used in place of solid medical advice from your child’s pediatrician based off your child’s specific health needs or medical conditions.

I was Tired Once too

I am no sleep expert but I am the mother of five beautiful children, four of whom all slept through the night by 10 weeks old. This includes a set of twins, which happened to be the last pregnancy. Don’t get me started, thats a story for another time.

Notice how only four of my five slept through the night early on? Well its simple as to why, my first didn’t sleep well at all. In fact, she didn’t sleep through the night until she was about six months old, maybe a year. I can’t remember, it was a blur. Like many older siblings, she is the reason for the following sleep routine plan. I was not going to go sleepless for that long ever again. So from my second child on I started doing this routine at the suggestion of a more experienced mother. Thank God for her because it works!

For the first month or so every baby slept on my chest. I slept sitting up in a recliner or propped up on the couch. These snuggles are not only the sweetest moments that you will every have canoodling with that little angel, but remember how they were JUST inside your warm, safe, quiet, womb? They do and the outside world can be a pretty big adjustment. Ever step out of a sauna into a room that is 30 degrees cooler? It won’t take long before you need to warm up. Plus by sleeping on your chest, your baby can smell you, hear you breathe, maybe even faintly hear your heartbeat. Whether you breastfeed or bottle feed, this sleeping situation will help your baby feel safe while transitioning to the outside world. Which will help YOU get some sleep.

Set a Nightly Routine

Consistency is key, vital in fact, for this part of the routine in order for it to work.

Start wherever you are but begin to establish a nightly routine. If you are consistently getting two hours of sleep out of the baby from 11pm to 1am. Start there. Every night at the same time, without fail, you need to make the following happen. Give the baby a nice warm bath. Don’t forget that they just came out of a nine month warm soak! This will be relaxing for the baby.  Give baby a little rub down to keep their skin soft. I think I used a bedtime lavender infused lotion but you can use any type of moisturizing lotion or cream after the bath. Next get baby all snuggled up in their jammies, swaddle them  and feed them. Whether it is bottle or breast doesn’t matter. Let them get a full belly. Think about it, wouldn’t you be sleepy after all that?

Now once baby begins to nod off, put them in their crib with whatever type of sleep aids, room darkening curtains, etc., you plan on using consistently to help them stay asleep. I had a small fan that provided white noise but wasn’t pointed at the baby.

Set the Tone for the Night

Once baby has nodded off into Sleepyville, then no more bright lights, no more loud voices in the nursery. Everything is about sleep from here until morning. Baby needs to eat again? No worries, feed them, burp them, and then back to the crib. Low/no lights, low voices, with little to no talking, all business. I only changed poop-y diapers at night, just wet waited until morning. As your baby gets older and grows then it will also be able to sleep longer, so now you have established a nighttime routine that leads to them in their cribs. As their length of sleep progresses, then so will yours!

Need to Change the Bedtime Start Time?

Once you get this going consistently for at least a week or two then you can gradually start moving bedtime forward by 30 minutes. 11pm was super late for us so we kept inching the ritual forward until we hit the bedtime that worked for us. Once the pattern is established and your baby knows what to expect, then you will have more control or the bedtime itself. As they start sleeping longer it will be easier too. First the routine is about establishing the ritual so the baby knows what to expect then you can play with the timing.

Deep breath and relax! You got this whole parenting thing!

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Aftermath of Head Lice: Talking to your child

The aftermath of head lice can leave both you and your child emotionally exhausted. We all know that head lice sucks, despite being a common rite of passage for many kids. Your child is embarrassed, you are grossed out, and let’s be honest, other kids can be really mean. How do you talk to your child so they are ready to face their friends at school again?

Let me guess, these nasty little buggers hit you out of nowhere right? You found yourself totally unprepared and overwhelmed the minute you figured out what was going on. Your first response may not have been the best one but once the dust settles, heads are treated, and sheets are in the wash, the next obstacle you face is helping your child emotionally move on. Here’s five simple ways to help explain the who, what, where, why they had it and how to talk to their friends about it.

Who Gets Head Lice?

The fact of the matter is that anyone can get head lice. Well, any human that is. They are most common in young children with girls being more likely to get them over boys. Head lice do not discriminate against anyone really. Clean hair, dirty hair, child, adult, they just love hair, any and all kinds! That means there was no way of really preventing them from finding your head to be the perfect home for them to raise a family in!

What Are Head Lice?

I assume you mean besides gross? Head lice are little parasites that find the human head the absolute best neighborhood to raise their family in. They are visible to the naked eye but can be pretty quick to scurry away from searching fingers. The real trouble is they lay eggs like crazy and those are really hard to see. Even if you have good vision a pair of reading glasses may come in handy in your search for them. Lice are literally thousands of years old, so they are persistent little bastards that breed better than rabbits.

Where Do You Get Head Lice?

99.9% of the time head lice are transferred from head to head by sharing hats, batting helmets, wigs, or sleeping close to someone who has them. They can’t fly, or even jump, they can only crawl. So they really depend on you unknowingly inviting them onto your head. Your child didn’t deserve them certainly and they had to have gotten them from someone else. That means there is no reason to be embarrassed. They just happen.

Why Head Lice?

In my honest opinion, only God knows why they exist. The good news is that they do not carry disease or infections that can be transferred to humans so they are really just a gross, itchy, but harmless nuisance.

How to Tell Their Friends

We all know that when we hear “head lice”, and we take a step away from the person talking instantly feeling itchy. Although I had them as a kid I don’t remember being teased about having them. I don’t really remember anything other than my mom combing through my hair with that tiny ass comb and hating every second of it. As I was researching during my what the fuck do I do now moment I saw a lot of things posted about the stigma of head lice. As I kid I didn’t really think about it, I was worried for my daughters though. I was afraid that they would be teased, bullied, or otherwise ostracized if other kids knew.

After talking to the school nurse I told them that they could lie, I’m not proud of that. I told them that they could just say that they were home sick. They didn’t have to tell anyone they missed school because they had lice.

My girls didn’t listen of course, and told their friends. They learned a valuable lesson in doing that, I did too. My older daughter said that this friend heard from that friend, who heard from another friend, BUT only one friend came to her to ask her if it was true. They told me that when someone said something to them they simply stood up for themselves. They told everyone that they had to have gotten them from someone else  who had them so what was the big deal? I have to admit that I was proud of them and ashamed of myself. They told the truth, defended themselves and then simply went on with their day. What more could a mom ask for?

 

 

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Dealing with Head Lice – How to Guide

Are you dealing with head lice?

Oh girl, you found bugs crawling in your little ones hair and you don’t know where to start, right? No worries momma, its going to be ok! I know you want these disgusting little parasites not only off your child’s precious head but out of your house, like yesterday. Here is what I have learned when dealing with head lice and the steps you need to take to get rid of the bugs once and for all.

Lice occur most frequently in younger, school aged children, and they can happen to ANYONE. Lice occurs more often in girls but that could just be because girls generally have longer hair. They are gross I know, BUT these resourceful little bastards have been around since the beginning of time. Trust me when I say that no one is more skeeved out than your kid at the thought of bugs crawling around in their hair. They know that momma is going to handle this like the bad ass boss she is.

CHECK EVERYONE thoroughly so you know how many heads we are treating here.

When your little one comes to you and says that it feels like something is crawling in their hair then you need to check, like now! Lice drop lots of eggs and fast! Go directly to a well lit room and check the base of their skull and behind their ears. These are the most common locations for the lice to lay eggs. Adult lice are easily seen with the naked eye but the nits are tiny so if anyone has reading glasses available they may come in handy here. The nits are oval shaped little blobs attached to the hair shaft very closely to the scalp. Once those puppies start hatching you are going to have a serious problem. Adults are good at hiding while you are checking hair so take your time looking around. Once you know you are dealing with lice, then you need to check EVERYONE in the house.

Most research shows that over the counter medications rarely work in eliminating head lice. Even through two rounds of treatment and with you doing everything “as directed”. If you learn nothing else, then learn from my experience. Your best bet is to call your pediatrician right away and get a prescribed treatment that kills both the lice AND the eggs. I will explain why in a minute.

Your head is itching isn’t it? Don’t panic. Just the thought of lice makes your skin crawl but make sure someone has checked your head too.

The Good Stuff

Why do you need the good stuff? You need the medication that kills the eggs too, which is only available by prescription. These little buggers, pun intended, can take up to 12 days to hatch. Then it only takes 6-9 days for them to become mature enough to start laying eggs themself. You can see how this starts to stack up against you quickly. You are going to be chasing your tail trying to find every nit in your kid’s hair for the next month or so before you can declare victory. Go to your doctor and get the good stuff. I told our pediatrician that I wanted “something that will kill everything but those two”, pointing to my beautiful head scratching daughters.

Plan of Attack

Now that you have this lice annihilator in your hot little hands you need to plot out your plan of attack. First thing to do is gather everything that your children have come into contact with for the past 48hours. Place it all into one area to be considered “the contamination zone”. Every bed in the house, clothing, coats, pillows, stuffed animals, etc.. Think of anything that may have come into contact with your child in the past 48 hours and set it aside to be laundered.

Hairbrushes and hair accessories need to be soaked in water greater than 130 degrees for at least 10 minutes. To be honest, during the first rounds using over the counter shampoos we did this. Once it was obvious that we had lice again, we just tossed them all and bought new stuff. If you can’t buy new, then boil a pot of water and throw all the grooming accessories in the pot of boiling hot water (turning off the heat first of course).

Make a Clean Zone

Now, the medicine has to sit on your child’s head for about 10 minutes, you now have time to make a “clean zone”. I then went through their stripped rooms and vacuumed their beds and floor thoroughly. I picked out PJs and set them in the bathroom for the girls. Once their heads were done stewing, they rinsed off, got into their PJs and went straight to their rooms, you know, the “clean zone”. They were told that they couldn’t go to other areas of the house without my permission (possibly this was overkill but after dealing with these parasitic bastards for a month, I.WAS.DONE.).

I then, systematically, went through each room that would need to be tidied up, vacuumed and cleaned in the order of importance to our daily lives.

The Aftermath

As far as the laundry, it will take DAYS to wash everything. Everything should be washed on the hottest setting and dried on the hottest settings. Don’t forget to vacuum the couches, chairs, and rugs!

Lice don’t really live long without a host. If something has been in the coat closest for a week without anyone using it then you are probably ok to leave that be. Anything that can’t be washed, like my daughter’s softball helmet, needs to be sealed up in a plastic bag for three weeks to ensure that they are gone.

Remember Momma, lice have literally survived for thousands of years. Clearly they are unstoppable, until they met you that is!

 

 

Head lice?! Ewwww….gross….you must be dirty! OMG Mary has bugs in her hair! Kids can be cruel when it comes to head lice. Check out this blog post on helping your child cope with having had lice. https://asleepbynine.com/parenting/aftermath-of-head-lice-talking-to-your-child/

 

Beginner’s Guide to Getting Healthy – Your First 5 EASY Steps

Healthy Lifestyle Habits are Easier than You Think!

Me in 2016 – running daily

Do you want to get healthy but unsure of where to start? Does it feel like an overwhelming challenge so you don’t even begin? It’s possible for anyone to improve their health and feel more confident by making just a few small changes. In fact, not only is it possible it is a lot easier than you think! You just have to be committed to yourself and HONEST because you can lie to your calorie counter but your hips know the truth!

Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for you, I have had to get back into shape a few times in my life. I’ve had four pregnancies (including a set of twins) all delivered via c-sections. Then a couple times where, to be honest, I just let myself eat cookies instead of dealing with stress properly.I really hope I have learned my lesson regarding dealing with stress and that cookies don’t fix anything! Does that sound familiar to you? Yeah, I thought it would. So obviously, I have had the opportunity to pull myself out of the cookie jar and strap on my gym shoes several times in my life! Now let’s talk about the first few changes that help get the healthy lifestyle ball rolling!

2018 after I let stress derail my healthy habits

I am ready to get back to running again but the extra weight is really a drag! So I am going to have to crawl before I can walk. Now I want to share with you how I am getting started and just how easy it is to begin.  Here is my beginner’s guide to healthier lifestyle habits.

Your first 5 EASY steps that you can take to start living a healthy lifestyle or regain your previous one!

First step – For one or two weeks start tracking where you currently are regarding activity and calorie intake. That’s it. You don’t have to hit the gym yet or eat salad every day (unless you already are doing that then for God’s sake don’t stop!!) You just want to get your baseline by using a pedometer, activity tracker, whatever you want to track how many steps you are taking every day compared to how many calories you are taking in. Sometimes just seeing this information in front of your face will be motivation enough!

Second step – Now that you know how much you are eating compared to how active you are, let’s try to get those numbers a little more even. Add a 10 minute walk into your daily routine at least 3 times a week for two weeks.

Third step –  Now let’s increase the walk to 15 minutes 5 times a week for two weeks. Be honest, everyone has 15 minutes to give to themselves every day.

Fourth step – Assess your diet. Is it on point with your goals? Your health has more to do with what you put on your fork than how far your shoes travel every day. Follow the 80/20 rule. 80 percent of the time eat healthy and exercise so that the 20 percent of treats and rest won’t derail your efforts!

Fifth step – Assess how you are feeling! You have been doing these small steps for over a month! Keep up the good work and continue to build on your new healthy habits!

Please remember that weight didn’t get there overnight and it won’t go away overnight either. You are going to have to be patient and consistent. If you are honest with yourself and your efforts, then it will be a lot easier than you think to get into the healthy lifestyle habit for good!

I also want to note that not once did I mention getting on the scale. That number is not something you should focus on. If that is your only guide then it will be very easy to become discouraged with your efforts. Instead, you should focus on how you feel with these changes! How do your pants fit? How much more energy you have? Are you sleeping better? How is your growing confidence!? I know that these small changes really don’t seem like much at first glance. You will find it is so much easier to make small changes and build on them rather than trying to become an organic vegan/marathon runner overnight. Making small changes and building on them is more likely to be successful in the long run.

Here’s to a healthier you!! Congrats!! You are doing this for you and you are going to kill it!

 

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