Category: momlife

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Finding Balance to Find Peace

 

 

Are you struggling to find work life balance? You are not alone! Every day millions of women just like you and I are trying to find a way to be and do it all. We feel guilty that our house isn’t spotless or we haven’t had a hairstyle since 2004. Did you know that makeup has an expiration date?! The kids need this, the school requires that, your new boss is a jerk and doesn’t care about your life outside of the office and your husband tries to understand but he just doesn’t get that while you look like you are holding it all together you are actually ready to cry or scream or just spontaneously combust.

You need balance.

We can’t do it all and shouldn’t expect ourselves to be able to because it isn’t fair or realistic. We see these snippets of celebrities who are thin, working in glamorous jobs all around the world with their kids happily in tow but what we don’t see is the myriad of staff that are helping them look so put together. I don’t have that. In fact sometimes I feel like I have the opposite of staff and instead have little minions whose job it is is to actually undo whatever I just spent 2 hours doing, but I digress, how do we find the balance so that we are not only surviving our lives but thriving in them? Hint: everyone’s answer is different…..and everyone’s answer is correct.

The truth is you have to figure out what works best for you and your family. If you feel like you are managing working 40+ hours a week, the kids sports schedule, and maintaining your household to your satisfaction then BRAVO! You are amazing! If you feel like you are struggling, stressed, and/or its effecting your health, then it might be time to reevaluate what is really important to you and make some changes. P.S. You are amazing!

Finding Balance to Find Peace

Prioritize

1.) Prioritize your life – what are the three most important things that you have to have/do/be to have a high level of satisfaction in your life? Is it your family, career, a new house, being physically fit? There is no wrong answer here but you have to be honest with yourself and truly define what you consider to be a “must have” or  what the airline industry calls a “no miss”. That means your “no miss” is always the priority and as long as whatever that is happens consistently and to your satisfaction then you will be happy. For airlines a “no miss” is that your plane didn’t crash. Kind of a biggie. However your luggage arriving at the same time as your plane isn’t one of them. They like it to happen, they try to make it happen but it isn’t the priority. Same with your life, figure out the three things that are your “no miss” and focus on getting those right, every single time.

Evaluate

2.) Evaluate what you chose as your “no miss” items. Is what you are doing right now aligned with making them possible? Did you choose being a class mom as a priority but you have an hour commute to your full time job? There is no way you can juggle that for any length of time without running on pure adrenaline and espresso! P.S. that will catch up to you eventually, trust me. Is it starting your own business but you are afraid to take the first step? Did you choose a new career but aren’t confident enough to leave your comfort zone to pursue it? No wonder you are stressed, the life you are living and the one you want are two completely different roads and as the saying goes, “you can’t get there from here”. Only you can decide what changes need to occur to realign your life with your goals; with the things that are going to bring you satisfaction and to truly enjoy the life you’re living.

Seek Advice

3.) Talk to someone who can help you determine how and what you need to do to find your balance. Is the only thing really tipping you over the edge being unable to keep up with the house? Look into hiring a cleaning service. Are you struggling with finding the time to go grocery shopping? Is there a way to order online so you can plan and prepare meals instead of winging it with kids in tow begging for every snack and toy they see. Do you need to make a major change? Something that will kind of change everything, talk about it with your significant other, best friend, mom, whoever you trust to be honest and supportive and really try to figure out how to make it happen. Your happiness is out there waiting for you to have the cojones to chase after it!

Come hang out with other fun women just like you! http://www.asleebynine.com/jenny

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The Birds and the Bunnies: A Lesson by Nature

 

The Birds and the Bunnies: A Lesson by Nature

Mother nature tells the tale of The Birds and the Bunnies? A lesson in nature. Ahhh spring, isn’t it a beautiful time to see the flowers blooming, the leaves seems to suddenly appear on the trees and nature is everywhere! Isn’t it grand?

I was sitting at my desk working when I looked out the window to see two bunnies just hanging out in our backyard. We love animals around here, so I quickly grab my camera and slowly creep outside to take a few pictures of these adorable little creatures. My husband calls them ‘nature’s snack food’ but that’s another story. I am able to get super close, like surprisingly close. To be honest, it was kind of ridiculously close. Hey, aren’t you guys prey? Shouldn’t you be running by now? It hasn’t occurred to me just WHY I am able to get so close to these mobile hawk snacks.

Enter my little darlings

“Oh my goodness…come here girls quick”, I call to my darling innocent little ones who simply love all animals and nature. They come running out to see our wild friends. A few “OMG they are adorable”, “Mommy we are so close!”. My heart beamed thinking, “aren’t I just an awesome mom for being able to show them this tender moment with mother nature and her pets?”. Shortly after all of our “oohs” and “ahhs”, we realize that there is yet another ‘couple’ in our yard. We are remarkably able to get ridiculously close to these cuties as well. It still hasn’t dawned on me what is causing the seemingly docile ignorance of our presence to these otherwise flighty critters. Although I did start to think that it was a little odd that four wild bunnies would let us get so close to them. Let’s be honest here, my daughters can’t really be described as “stealthy”.

Bunnies Getting Busy

Suddenly before I could even realize what was about to go down, one of the bunnies jumped onto the back of the other bunny! They didn’t care that we were getting so close because LOVE was in the air and they were all twitterpated! They didn’t give two shits about us being there because all they could hear was some sort of slow love bunny R&B jam in their little bunny brains!

My brain screamed “GAHHH”! “Come on girls let’s go inside!”, I chime as I quickly corral my girls away from the amorous couple towards the backdoor but alas, I wasn’t quite fast enough. As I was opening the back door and shoving my daughters into the house, my older daughter said “why did the daddy kick the mommy? She just wanted a hug! Did he do that on purpose?!”, she chirped. What was my perfect mom, brilliant response? “uhhhhh, I don’t know baby…they are animals”.

:::face palm:::

Come join the fun! https://asleepbynine.com/jenny

 

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Are you dating your spouse?

We might be getting serious.

I’m currently dating my husband…or he is dating me…not sure really but we have been dating for a while now. I think things are getting pretty serious. We have been married for almost 11 years, together over 12. With the stresses of kids, two jobs, running a household, and holy shit stuff is expensive, we made a deal that we would go out together, just us, at least twice a month. We often run out of ideas and new places to go but we always go.

Why? Why do we do it?

We do it because once all the dust settles, the kids are grown moving on with their lives then it will be just the two of us. Just the two of us staring at each other across the kitchen table in the morning wondering, “Now what do we do?”. I don’t want to be sitting across from some stranger who I haven’t really seen or spent any time with in the last 18 years.

Nothing fancy.

Sometimes we just meet each other for lunch while the kids are in school. Then there are other times we hire a babysitter, schedule a sleepover at mom mom’s house and go out to dinner. It is almost NEVER something that would warrant 20 selfies and appear like we are living it up way more than any of our friends. In fact, the occasional selfie is rare but once in a while we are feeling millennial and take one. Date nights are more important than just getting away from the kids. Eating your dinner at the temperature that it was meant to be served at. Date nights are a reminder of just why you have this crazy life in the first place. You fell in love. You fell in love with each other and created the mayhem that now consumes you all day every day. I doubt you could you ever imagine not having this craziness!? I know I couldn’t and remembering why I choose to create chaos of my life with him, that is why I make sure that we are still dating.

 

Want to meet other fun ladies looking for support? www.lularoejenniferwilliams.com

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Mom in the Middle

What do you do when you are a mom in the middle? When your child’s diagnosis isn’t obvious, when your kid seems normal to strangers at first but other kids recognize right away that they aren’t the same as them. When your child’s diagnosis is not something you want to draw attention to because with work and effort they will reach mainstream and grow into a “normal” adult. When you know that all your child wants is to be liked by everyone else but they aren’t and you aren’t sure to how to explain it to others or whether or not you need to.

What the fuck do you do?

How do you explain it? To other parents? To other kids?

My son has social pragmatic communication disorder. How do you explain that without going into this deep conversation over fine motor skills, impulse control issues, and the inability to process normal social behavior over a few beers without sounding like a maniac that someone just wants to grab their drink and walk away from?

My son is kind and gentle, he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body yet he is the target of bullies on the playground because of it. Because with his diagnosis he doesn’t recognize those who aren’t interested in being kind and gentle. Other parents don’t see why I am so protective of him because he “looks normal” or “he is having fun”, but other kids know when they have stopped having fun but he hasn’t stopped doing whatever it was that made them laugh. See he doesn’t recognize when the other kids don’t think something is funny anymore. Other kids mistake his enthusiasm for not listening when they say stop. Its hard because I see why the other kids don’t understand when he doesn’t stop doing something when they say stop. I also understand that my son sees that they thought it was funny once and doesn’t understand or recognize why it isn’t funny anymore.

It kills me as a mom to see him struggle to connect with other kids. I totally understand as an adult that other kids see that he is different. I just wish that my role was more well defined. I can’t make him understand social cues yet because he is still learning basic social skills. He has a very defined line between right and wrong so traversing the gray area is extremely challenging for him. Juggling the myriad of emotions and subtle nonverbal cues is totally out of his wheelhouse. Yet it absolutely kills me as an adult not only a mom to just let him figure things out for himself.

So as a mom in the middle I sit here and hope that I can create enough situations that allow him to grow as an individual, learn social norms, expand his circle of friends just enough, and that it all comes together naturally in the end.

 

Interested in more? https://asleepbynine.com

 

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Must Haves for New Softball Moms!

 

So I decided to sign my two girls up for softball this year. I played softball for years and love the game so I figured they would too. It seemed like a great idea and why not. Besides the crazy schedules and the freezing cold at the start of practice, what I didn’t realize is that I would fall deeply in love with teaching them the game!! My new found passion has had me at every practice and game so far, rooting on my little sluggers as they learn, laugh, make new friends, and I quickly realized that there should be a new sports mom checklist so that you can come to the fields prepared because that first game taught me some very valuable lessons. Here are the things that I found to be the most important to have on the sidelines…..besides self control that is!

1.) Bring a chair. One of those folding chairs that you can easily stuff into a bag with a shoulder strap are perfect. Sometimes the fields have bleachers but if its cold then the bleachers are freezing, and your hiney doesn’t stand a chance!

2.) Grab a blanket. There is some unforeseen weather phenomenon that occurs at ball fields. They are always 15 degrees cooler than the weather at your house and the wind is always gusting at 25mph.

3.) Something to drink for both you and your future hall of famer. A very rugged water bottle for the dugout is a must and you can sip on whatever you fancy ::wink::

4.) Snacks. Something lightweight and easy because nothing makes losing a little bit easier to take than fruit snacks or gummy bears!

5.) Your own softball glove if you want to warm up with your player before the game and pretend that you are reliving your youth….that got weird didn’t it…sorry…moving on.

Most of all bring yourself. I know its freezing but only in the beginning. I know you have a thousand and one things that need to get done and that 2 hours of being home alone to do it sounds wonderful BUT your little one would love to know you are there. Cheering them on and just being present. It seems like it isn’t a big deal but trust me it is to them. This is all new to them and their confidence and if you don’t want to see them play then what does that say to them? You don’t have to be the mom yelling from the sidelines, then again I didn’t think I would be either. Just being there is enough and it means more to your little one than you know.

Want to hang out with other fun moms? http://www.lularoejenniferwilliams.com

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Sudden Weight Gain and Loss in Confidence

Have you struggled with your self confidence after a sudden weight gain? Well it happened to me too. My body decided to play a few tricks on me and between the hormone malfunctions and medications I found myself a little extra fluffy in a short period of time. To say that it affected my self confidence is an understatement and the irony isn’t lost on me that I help women feel confident in their own skin daily, yet I let it get to me. My inner mean girl said horrible things to me, things I would NEVER say to anyone else, but I let her thrive, I listened to her and believed that she was right. Why was that ok? Why was it ok for her to talk to me that way?

She tells me “don’t post that selfie, you’re too fat, no one wants to see you”.

As women we tend to be so hard on ourselves as it is, and many factors in our society and movies lead us to believe that if we are overweight that there is someone wrong with us. That we are no longer beautiful. Why on Earth do we listen to that nonsense?! Everything about us is just as frigging amazing as it was before, the only thing that has changed is our dress size. That shouldn’t define us. If our best friend or our daughter came to us saying these terrible things about themselves we would quickly correct them and remind them of how awesome they are. Why aren’t we are own cheerleader? Besides that, you know what else I have learned? You probably don’t look as bad to anyone else as you do to your inner mean girl anyway. We stand in front of the mirror and stare at every little ripple, roll, and “flaw” telling ourselves that its the first thing people see when they look at you. Guess what……it’s not. The people who love you have noticed your weight gain (maybe) and they still love you just the same. As far as people who don’t know you, they have no idea you were ever anything than what you are right now!

So head up, shoulders straight, look yourself square in the eye and say, “Girl YOU ROCK and you never liked that mean girl anyway!”!

 

Interested in meeting other confident women? Come join the fun http://www.lularoejenniferwilliams.com