Month: March 2018

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Time for Change? When to Say Goodbye

 

Is it time to make a big change? Saying goodbye is rarely easy, and unfortunately, we sometimes have to choose to say goodbye. Whether it is to a job, a loved one, a friend, career or moving across the country to chase a dream, making a big change takes a lot of thought and can be very stressful. Sometimes we are confident in our decision but often times we are not. So, how do you know? How do you know when it is time to severe ties with something or someone that no longer serves you well. Now I don’t mean “serves you” in a selfish way, I just mean that if whatever is on your mind, no longer brings you joy, then you probably aren’t doing it any favors by staying around either.

The difficulty in this decision often rises up from a conflict between the heart and the mind. Our minds are driven by more rational thoughts while our hearts are guided by emotions, and to be honest, sometimes you just aren’t sure which one is right. Sometimes you have to make a decision based on concrete thoughts, such as finances, cases of abuse or mistreatment, future goals, etc.. However, sometimes the decision maker is the heart, and those decisions can be tricky. Whether you’re thinking about changing careers or ending a personal relationship, there are a few key questions that you can ask yourself to help guide the process.

1.) Why do you want to say goodbye? Can the situation be fixed?

2.) What will happen if you don’t change anything? To you and anything that is important to you.

3.) What are your reasons for not being confident in your decision to make this change?

4.) In the end, what do you think you would you regret more…….staying or leaving?

5.) What does making this change represent to you?

Clear as mud right? Now you have all these conflicting thoughts swimming in your head. Let them swim for a bit, eventually you will come to a conclusion. These questions aren’t going to provide you with a clear cut path and no consequences, every decision of this magnitude will have consequences (they aren’t always bad either) but you have to figure out which ones are more important to you. You owe it to yourself and those around you to find fulfillment, joy, and purpose because if you are miserable where you are then how can you bring joy to anyone else?

There is no right or wrong answer here on this page. Only you can decide what needs to be done. Every person reading this has a different situation in front of them, and different reasons for wanting change. I personally have made big difficult decisions in my life, and yes there were times when I doubted that I chose the right thing but in the end I know I was right. It wasn’t easy, but anything worth having rarely is.

For more articles by me check out https://asleepbynine.com

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5 Tips for Mom to Enjoy A Snow Day!

snow day

snow day

 

You just received the call that school is closed for a snow day today, again. There is an initial relief that you can relax a little and don’t have to rush to get everyone out the door, but then reality sets in. They are home ALL DAY, whether it is with you, your partner, or a babysitter, someone is going to inevitably be “bored”, “hungry”, or fighting with a sibling. So there are a few things you can do in advance to make the next snow day a more enjoyable one for everyone.

Here are five things I have found that make a snow day more fun:

1.) Check their snow gear BEFORE the snow day! – Nothing ruins a snow day faster than when boots or snow pants are MIA or don’t fit! This is a BIG one because it gets them OUTSIDE!!! Everyone wins!

2.) Frozen cookie dough – silly right? So I really stumbled upon this gem by accident. My kids started selling cookie dough at the beginning of each school year as a fundraiser. I bought a couple boxes not realizing they would be my new BFF. My kids love having warm cookies after being out playing in the snow, (I mean who doesn’t right?!). That had always meant getting everything out and making them from scratch for the kids to enjoy. I love it, but I didn’t always feel like doing it. Frozen cookie dough to the rescue! Pop them in the oven, I look like the hero with minimal effort. Even if you aren’t a fan of pre-made products you can still make your own and freeze them for the occasion.

3.) Emergency game/toy stash – kids get overloaded with gifts at Christmas and birthdays frequently. Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, usually drop a toy store off in your living room each year so take a few of those games and put them away into a secret stash! Pull one out and again, you look like the hero. Nothing occupies them (for at least a little while) like a new game/toy!

4.) Always have popcorn on hand! – There is something magical about popcorn that turns a movie into something exciting! Even a movie you have seen before becomes an event when you add a big bowl of popcorn to the mix!

5.) Just roll with it! – I know you weren’t planning on them being home today, maybe you had a bunch of things that you need to get done, but just like their youth, snow days won’t last forever. There will come a time before you know it when they aren’t little anymore, then they aren’t home anymore, and you won’t have any snow days again. Build the snowman, make the cookies, play the board games. They will remember those things a lot more fondly than, “mommy got her list done”, (which ironically is never done….EVER).

When all else fails mom, there is a bottle of wine in the dining room.

Want to hang out with other moms like you? Come join the fun! https://asleepbynine.com/jenny

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10 Things I’ve Learned Being A Mom To Twins

“OMG are they twins?!”, “I always wanted to have twins.”, “Do twins run in your family?”

Twins are hard. Twins are like life consuming hard. Unless you have lived it then there is no way to truly understand how much twins change everything. Its more than double the pleasure…it’s a lot of work!

We already had three children when we found out that I was pregnant for the fourth time. Our youngest was only 1 year old so the pregnancy was a already a big deal then…. SURPRISE….TWINS! Carrying a twin pregnancy to term was the most uncomfortable feeling I have ever physically felt in my life but it was totally worth it to have our fraternal boy/girl twins come home three days after being born with no time in the NICU. Life with twins certainly hasn’t been easy. I’ve learned a lot in the last seven years and if I can help someone newly entering the world of twins or someone who is already buried in the chaos then my blood shot eyes will have served a purpose.

1.) “Be there in 20 minutes”, you will never utter these words again unless you are already loaded up in the car and heading towards your destination that is less than 20 minutes away.

2.) Someone is going to have to cry and there is nothing you can do to stop it. When you have a single baby, even with older children, it can be easier to appease one while you tend to the other. Twins don’t have the “it’s your turn to cry” thing figured out. Maybe they get on the same feeding schedule (actually this is ideal) or someone is hungry at the same time the other fills their diaper. It’s ok, you are a great mom. Twins are hard.

3.) Talk to other twin moms! Sometimes they have information about some sanity saving service that you haven’t heard of. I learned about an online delivery service for formula and diapers that eliminated my weekly runs to the local bulk food store and in turn saved my sanity because with three kids under 2 years old I was going through copious amounts of both!

Side note: I exclusively breastfed our twins for three weeks until my husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer and I had to help him recover too. I only say this because I was a “breast is best” mom and felt very guilty for giving up breastfeeding so early. Formula or breastmilk doesn’t determine whether or not you are a good mother, love does, period.

4.) Laundry is your new BFF. You won’t be done doing laundry for approximately 20 years. Embrace it and accept it.

5.) Getting groceries is your new quiet time. Enjoy it. Do not take the kids, let your partner hold down the fort while you slowly peruse the aisles imagining all the amazing healthy dinners that you are going to make for your family. Then grab the chicken strips and the frozen veggies taking your time to complete your more realistic shopping list.

6.) What you just bought at the grocery store will last for 12 seconds. Head back to #5.

7.) Sometimes popsicles are dinner. It is ok. Of course you want to eat a healthy dinner but one has to get to swim lessons and the other has art class, but we have to finish everyone’s homework before we go…..so go ahead, have a popsicle, just eat something. Twins are hard.

8.) Embrace the chaos. One day your house will be so quiet, it will feel eerie (So I’m told. We aren’t there yet). I see it with our two oldest who have already started their adult lives. Every day your little ones grow older and yes your house is a mess, and the laundry pile is frigging huge, and you need a shower BUT one day sooner than you think they will get their own breakfast, then it’s don’t kiss me in front of my friends, and before you know it they won’t need you as much. As much as the chaos drives me crazy, I’m not looking forward to that day. The day you realize that they are all grown up. I already cried the day I realized that we no longer could shop in the baby stores, so when my hubby and I are staring at each other over coffee trying to figure out what to do with ourselves, it will probably hit me hard.

9.) Remember that the twins entered your life. Maintaining your relationship with your partner is extremely important because not only are they your support system (and the only other adult you have backing you up) but they are also why you started growing this little family in the first place. Seeing your healthy relationship is vital to your children’s view of what they should expect from a partner in the future and the only way to teach them is to show them. One date night a month is like the old adage for good health, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away”, well “A date night a month keeps the other “D” away.”.

10.) Take care of yourself. It is so true that you cannot pour from an empty cup and if you are not going to the gym, getting a mani/pedi, or hitting the yoga mat like you always did before then you are doing your whole family a disservice. The dishes, laundry, and household tasks will always need to be done but you will feel a lot better doing it if you had your time to yourself. Your mental health is vital to a healthy family, take care of yourself. Twins are hard.

Want to meet more fun twin moms? http://www.lularoejenniferwilliams.com